Hugh Gibbons' references and extra information
PPhunnybone for November 2014
for pharmaceutical physicians, colleagues and friends

Doncha just like assumptions – especially when they’re intra-national? 

During WWII, my father used to pick up US servicemen.  Let me rephrase that.  His job meant he had a Vauxhall car – and giving lifts was expected.  He brought many soldiers home to meet a British family, and they gave us candy in return for emaciated cuppas. 

One day at the office in Birmingham, his head of security tiptoed in.  “I’m afraid you’ve been accused of being a spy.  A GI says that you have a Nazi sign on display in your car.” My father thought it might be something scrawled in the pervasive dust of those days.  But eventually they did find the swastika: the markings on the handle of the gear stick…  My father swore never to give another serviceman a lift.  But he did, of course. Discuss. 

Another time, I was the accused.  At a pharma company, I was running a course in business literacy for their new intake of graduates.  (Disturbingly, I was also asked to train them in how to behave in business meetings – eg turn up on time, read stuff beforehand, show interest.)  We were exploring the nooks and crannies of language, and got on to common uncertainties: already/all ready; alright/all right; and altogether/all together.   

“It’s really quite easy.  Altogether means totally – as he was altogether out of court.  All together means as one.  We are all together here.  Of course, there’s another use: to be in the altogether!”  Everyone smiled, except a young American woman, who looked puzzled.  “Someone explain it to her in the coffee break”, I suggested, and moved on praise synonyms: words we use when we can’t spell the word we first thought of.   

At the break the trainer tiptoed in.  You’ve been accused of using sexual innuendo.  Talking about nudity… When I had calmed down, I realised that I had been privileged to meet the only one of hundreds of millions of Americans never to singalong to Danny Kaye and “the king is in the altogether, the altogether…” She didn’t reappear.   

“Innuendo?  I feel like giving her one”, I said, using a familiar English expression.  They didn’t ask me back. Discuss. 

Then there was that 1985 Friday evening in a bar by the Rhine when us medico-marketeers were all together.  Harry said he’d like to buy an authentic music box.  Sure, said Heinz, we have factory in the town with a shop.  But it’s closed at the weekend.  Well maybe you could send me a catalogue and I can choose one.  Then someone could bring it over when they come to the USA.   

Heinz, altogether puzzled: how could that be?  Harry: in their hand luggage.  

I tiptoed in.  “Harry: what do you mean by music box?”  With his hands, he perfectly described one, and ballerina twirling round to tinkly music.  “Heinz, what do YOU mean?” Well, he said, in our music box you take a coin and you put it in the slot and a record lifts down and plays a tune.  Like that one over there.

Discuss.  Alright?